DRAMA REVIEWS & RECAPS
Emiieee_sshi’s blog on Korean, Japanese, Chinese and Taiwanese drama series Love???…pfffttt
Lately I’m feeling a little ummmmzzz…lost? hahaha maybe that’s not the best word to describe what I’m feeling right now after the mid year exams. I should be feeling ecstastically fantastic right? Well, it just means that I’m spending most of my day sleeping and lazing around the house. I’ve been trying to avoid going out at all costs since the weather depresses me. During the day, I have my curtains drawn together so that I wouldn’t need to see the windy, grey and rainy day. Mum has become increasingly worried about my state these few days.
It’s funny how asian parents have this thing about no dating in highschool. But what I find overwhelmingly amusing is that once I graduated from highschool…they suddenly become surprised about my lack of dating experience, as if an alien stepped into the house. Hellooo? Who were the ones who kept on hammering the significance of highschool chastity? It felt as if I was expected to switch between two modes instantly within the transfer period between highschool and Uni. I would probably have been even better if I came home from Uni after the first day and announced that I was going to get married.
Yes…I understand that I don’t take enough care of my skin. I drink coffee with “too much sugar”. I wear my PJs almost everywhere I go with the exception of outdoors. I also talk non-stop with unlady like gestures. I feel terribly unladylike. It has somewhat occured to my folks that I scare off guys or guys scare off me. Regardless, my brain is becoming numb to their rant. Paranoia has got hold of my mum…she’s considering all the different possibilities and reasons as to why I’m not interested in men. One point that I need to make straight is that I’m not a lesbian and my mind is not poisoned by idealistic K pop males. I admit that I drool over DBSK but that doesn’t mean that I’ve been manipulated into thinking I would only date someone who looks like a K pop star.
Well… maybe if she introduced me to either Jaejoong, Yunho, Junsu, Changmin or Yoochun….. *mind distracted* (That is if, there is the possibility of that occuring. According to my approximation the possibility of that happening would be roughly around 0.0000000000000000000000 infinite 1.) No wait. I wouldn’t just accept…I would make sure that my arms were to be tightly wrapped around the guy’s leg and then I would shout “till death do we part”. Jks. Of course I wouldn’t cling onto a man’s legs but if it happened to be either one of the DBSK guys, I don’t think I’d have a choice because I will be faced the the death penalty…the wrath of fan girls.
From a woman’s perspective (yup I’m still biologically considered female) I can say that many Cassies have probably fantasised about DBSK boys. *cough* Anyways coming back to my point…sorry where was I? Oh right, yes, fantasising is a very normal thing that human beings experience regardless of gender. But we all know that the world we create and the world we live in are two very different ones and they rarely cross. Therefore, it is important for us to be able to “accept” the fact that maybe one day, DBSK will be date other girls, get married and have kids.
I’m not saying that it is ignorant, naive and foolish for fan girls to keep that loving hope alive and I’m sure most girls know deep down that one day we will have to let go no matter how disappointed we are. The problem is, when that day arrives, it really comes down to how much pain fan girls will feel. Of course, the amount of disappoint and misery will differ between different people. One person may feel little or no difference while someone else’s life can be turned upside down. Some fan girls may even gather together to plot the death of that girl (God forbid that from happening.)
Personally, I don’t think any celebrities or female artists would risk dating one of the boys because that would mean endless bashing, decline of popularity and life threatening consequences. I still find it hard to believe that Jaejoong’s ex-girlfriend who he dated before he became popular dumped him because he wasn’t popular O_o I bet she’s regretting it now….
Many Cassies address the boys as “My…” or “Our….” because this creates a sense of intimacy. But I think that regardless of what the fans/Jaejoong want, it would probably be more difficult for fans to accept DBSK dating a fan rather than an artist or a celebrity. When a DBSK member starts to get into a serious relationship with a girl, that member’s popularity will most likely drop.
In SM, I highly doubt that Yunho or Changmin will be allowed to date seriously because it will affect the company’s profit, business and image. The company sees, hears, breathe, feels, tastes money and will not consider HoMin’s happiness as their top piority. HoMin are only able to give their hearts and love to music. It’s an unfair idea that they wouldn’t be able to love like a normal person or experience love like any other person, yet there is only a choice between music and love. Those two choices cannot co-exist. As long as they remain under SM or if they continue to work with music, there is a high possibility that they will remain single. Even after they retire, I have this feeling that fan girls will remain in the chase.
JYJ have more freedom to date and I often wonder why they don’t. This is probably due to the same reason: the need to remain in the hearts of fan girls. If they start to date, it would break thousands of hearts across the world and I’m positive that is not something JYJ would want to see. Imagine one of the boys fell in love with a girl but because Cassies, he had to force himself to break off the possibility of getting together with someone they loved..it’s heartbreaking.
If we only love them because they are single then is that really considered as love or support? Being turned-off by the fact that they might be with another girl is called possessiveness. Sometimes love can lead to the need to be possessive but essentially, this possessiveness or upset feeling will only backfire. If you really love them, then shouldn’t you wish that they have a content, satisfied and happy private life? It’s easier said than done.
I start to realise that if they don’t have a happy life at home, it can impact on their career. I love their music and I hope that they continue to make great and awesome music in the future. They are DBSK because of their music and a true fan is someone who loves and supports their music as well.
The thing with fanbase is that fan girls like to imagine and fantasise. No one says that this is wrong.So when we start to imagine a girl next to one of the DBSK member, there is pretty much nothing left to fantasise about. It’s logical that these boys chose to sacrifice love for passion and fame but that doesn’t mean that it is expected of them to remain in a loveless life for their remaining time on earth. I often feel sorry for Changmin because out of the 5, he joined the entertainment industry at the youngest age. He probably missed out on majority of his childhood. I really wish he could relive a part of his childhood or growing up. He never really had a chance to go on a normal date with a normal girl on a normal day because most of his life is not a very normal life. (I’m guessing that none of the other 4 guys had much opportunity either)
Although their schedules might be hectic and they can’t afford any spare time to think about relationships but this is all a question to do with principles. Their right to experience a sentimental life should be a question that fans need to examine and think about because it seems like SM probably does not really care to think about it. Sometimes imagination can cloud our critical thinking, mistaking the boys as semi-Gods rather than humans. That is what the entertainment industry portray celebrities as. But even when we are brought back to reality and we know that we must see them as human male beings, we sometimes choose to turn our heads away because the truth might be too hurtful.
I fully understand that loving someone who loves someone else is not an easy task at all. It will definitely feel much better to stop loving that person.
I loved once. The first time I loved, I learnt to give but not take. It was also a sense of admiration that I felt for someone who I considered better than me. (There goes my low self-esteem again ) Back then, I thought that by waiting, he would finally be touched by my sincerity but I quickly realised that I was mistaken. He chose someone else.
When I found out that he had a gf, my world seemed to become a darkness that I’d never known. It felt like I was betrayed in a sense. I couldn’t understand how someone could be so heartless and stupid. I mean, after all, why would you reject someone who’s loved you for almost half of their life? I felt extreme bitterness. But maybe he never knew that I sincerely loved him. He probably never knew how long I waited for him. But as time passed, all wounds will heal. The only mark left is a little sigh of regret or maybe even a little chuckle at how stub-born I had been back then.
It was a difficult decision I had to make when I was confronted with the question about how I should face him in the future. Should I just abandon love and replace it with hatred? Or should I stop being friends all together and avoid him as much as I could? I decided to continue loving but I changed my love for him. This time, I didn’t want him to myself. Rather than perceiving him as someone I had to obtain and receive the same amount of love in return, I started to learn to see him as someone I wanted to take care of.
This kind of feeling is similar to the feeling a parent would have for a child because parental love does not require the child to return their love. As long as you see him laugh and smile, even if it’s not for you, you will start to notice how happy you feel. You no longer feel that you are hopeless because making that person happy has become a stress-free task. When you expect nothing in return, you won’t be disappointed. This becomes unconditional love. It’s to love them spiritually instead of physically. This feeling will elevate you from the deepest end of pain caused by unrequited love.
Only when we give joyfully, without hesitation or thought of gain, can we truly know what love means.
If you only have two choices: 1) To loose him or to never see him again 2) To remain by his side quietly but having to see him with someone else… which one would you choose? Maybe your first instinct is to choose the first one because by leaving him, you can forget him and move on. But can you promise that you will never regret this decision? Do you think you can bear to leave someone you care about just because they didn’t choose you? Love is not based on a scale. We don’t measure how much someone loves us in order to return the same amount of love.
When you love someone and they don’t love you back it can feel like you are falling into darkness because there is no hope. There is nothing to grab onto to escape from this darkness because the heart does not follow the logic which clearly sends out the message: “let go”. We are so desparetly trying to grab onto something to survive so the idea of letting go is obviously insane. Even when we do want to let go, our sub-conscious or fear stops us from doing so because the basic human survival instinct is to grab on to something when we are falling. I sometimes wish that the heart would work together with the mind. Things will become so much easier if the heart stops going the opposite way.
I believe that all Cassies want the best for DBSK. I also think that Cassies are one of the bravest people because love takes courage. To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage; because we don’t want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt. I hope that one day, the DBSK boys will be able to look back and smile at the power of love and the warmth they received from Cassies. DBSK might have gfs or wives in the future but ultimately, Cassiopeia’s love will still out rule them bwahahahaha!
7/8/2011 12:58 AM528
Momma’s Source: emiieee-chan.xanga.com
Hello, I haven`t visited in a while. I have had a bit of trouble posting and commenting lately because of my arm hurting a bit, but I had to come over to look at all the nice, new posts. ^^
This is an important and intriguing blog entry, well-written and, as you stated above, Cha, insightful. This young lady makes a lot of good points indeed – one of my favourite ones being the fact that entertainers need happy home lives to stay well and keep enjoying their work. We have been talking lately of how the members look very tired. I almost get scared sometimes when I see their photos and videos. They always look good, but on certain days, in a certain kind of light, their weariness is being mercilessly exposed to us. Rest, good food, less travelling, more sleep – all these things are things I wish for them. But more than anything I wish them love, for that is going to serve them better than any of the aforementioned things or even the most generous pay raise can do. I want them to be happy and to feel secure, to know that whether their newest release outsells every other CD or DVD out there or only sells a handful of copies or not at all, they will always be a success to their very own someone. As to the possibility of fans going to far and possible also hurting those someones – the idea of it bothers me as well. I don`t know how we can protect those girls from that. I suppose one way is to try and think of them as part of the DBSK family when the time comes – just as we think of the boys` parents and siblings as part of the family. And the same goes for the children that our members may father someday. In my mind, at least, they will be part of the DBSK family too. It may be a stretch to some people, but protecting the members` loved ones may actually equal protecting the members themselves.
Even though it may sound that way, I am not blind to the pain that fans will feel when these things are actually happening. They have been “ours” for quite some time. Goodbyes are always hard.
But perhaps the thought of their happiness will chase all sorrow away in the end. After all, that is what we want most of all for the five of them; happiness.
I will not be sad!
And I promise I will make a huge post with lots of photos celebrating their amazing choices!
Oh, and I borrowed this posting, of course. Hope it`s okay. Thank you Cha! 🙂
Hi YF. It’s 5 a.m. and I just got my peepers open. No problem with the borrowing,and such a well-written post, me friend.
This is one of the best articles that I’ve seen from a young person’s perspective. Perhaps it will help for the fanbase to see these postings as it will gradually acclimatize them to change. It isn’t fair to assume that our guys can or should live their lives alone. DBSK_FAN wrote a post where she listed the needs of her boyz in their relationships. it was a good post to place with this one. Telisu timeframe.
I haven’t been able to do much here except keep up with this blog and work on the insurance details behind the accident. it is so interesting how many ripples one act can cause. Hopefully, this will soon be behind us. We finally decided on a Ford Focus, which is the model that replaced our lost Escort in the Ford line. We are partial to Fords here because they are always easy to work on. Maybe the Kia in the future. We have one more car to replace. Our Ciera (our only GM) is getting older.
I’ll be praying for your arm, I know how much strain is involved with using keyboards. That is why I hold back from posting on your site sometimes, because I know my own potential for straining other’s fingers. 🙂
Worship rehearsal this morning. I’ll be back later in the day. Love you and the ladies. Cha
Thank you Cha! Yes, it is a good article. Did you manage to catch ~Myndless`s ~ take on the subject? She writes so well. Informative yet with great sensitivity.
Insurance issues can and will take their toll – I hope you will have some strenght left to enjoy your new car! A Ford sounds like a fine choice. And, as you say, the Kia might very well come in the future. It is troublesome when cars must be replaced, but there are many nice ones to choose from too – taken they are not too expensive, of course. Your gas has become expensive as well, right?
Thank you for being so considerate. Please post comments if you wish to do so – I always enjoy myself reading them. In fact I`m going to browse around in here a bit – I see many many new and interesting items!
Good luck with your work in church and at home – love you too. We`ll talk soon! ^ㅂ^
Hey. I like the face at the end. I could be mistaken, but would that be a Korean symbol in there? Like maybe the b,p symbol. O.K. I digress. No, I haven’t had opportunity to get to ~Myndless’~ site, but I will try very hard. I usually see her engaged on Twitter. She’s so happily busy that I usually read and move on.
As to the gas–Yikes. The truck is used only for hauling. definitely not for tooling around doing errands. We would go bankrupt. It is so great to get another economical car. 37 miles to the gallon will do fine.
The Ciera and the Van are moderate drinkers. 🙂
The girls usually run around in the smaller cars, so that saves.
A lot of decision-making going on around here. Chris is still choosing between colleges and Liz Ivory is in the middle of some college courses. Never a dull moment for them. I take that back. Chris is like me. She has to fill every waking moment with activity or bust. We both go until we crash. Aw well.
I need to clean up my Twitter account. I can’t make heads nor tails in there. Another project. Cya soon and blessings on your work also. Cha
I think ìt`s meant to represent a Japanese symbol but you are quite right, of course – it`s the b/p. Such a long time since I have been busy with the alphabet, not to say with the words. I really must pull myself together. And I must clean up my Twitter also – I am trying to delete tweets and DMs these days, but it`s very time-consuming. However, things are starting to get messy at my end also, so I better not forget about it.
The task of choosing the right college must, I believe, make your girls quite exhausted at times! It is such an important and difficult decision. But I am convinced that whichever college they decide to go for, they will do very well. It`s great that they are both set on going. I hope they have fun choosing also – it can be a very exciting time of your life, can`t it? when it`s all about to begin.
Good luck to them, and to you, with the new car and all of your tasks – and as usual, this place looks so fine – thank you for your hard work.
You’re welcome, YF. I was off watching Miss Ripley. I hope that we can pull all of this together soon. Our lives are so busy.
I want my girls to always have the means to take care of themselves,especially in a present day climate where people just aren’t willing to work hard enough at relationships to make them last.
My girls want to marry for life, and they want to help their husbands to raise the family financially whether through having the skills to manage finances well, or being out in the workplace to help provide the finances. That means school or the savvy to become self-sufficient without it. It’s up to them. Their choice.
Back to the grind. Tomorrow is another business day. Cha