Captain CoCo and The Bubble Incident Chapter One: First Engagement

Captain CoCo stares at the ship’s holographic navigation unit while getting dizzy from trying to isolate Planet Ceremus23A from the  millions of stars on the hologrid of the ISP Grande Pollo {Big Chicken}. The captain rests his head in his hands, rubbing his temples in an attempt to relieve the building pressure. Just out of dock, and hailed as the greatest, most advanced starship in the fleet of the Interstellar Peacekeeping Force, the Grande Pollo is on her maiden voyage to Ceremus23A, a hotbed of revolutionary passions.

According to reliable sources, Ceremus23A is in the midst of a soapy civil uprising caused by three opposing factions on the planet. The Strawberry Bubble and the Green Apple Factions have been competing and dousing each other with their squirt guns for several generations. Rumor has it that there are millions of Anti-Bubble rebels hiding in the hills and that an urgent call has been sent to the headquarters of the Interstellar Peacekeeping Force [To be known as the ISP Force from this moment on].

Unbeknownst to Captain CoCo, as his ship is speeding toward the planet another starship of equal power and splendor is racing to intercept them. Armed and dangerous, and the pride of Ceremus23A’s Strawberry Bubble Faction, the undetected ship contains eighty-eight thousand pounds of gaseous methane emissions as a propellant agent. In addition, it is carrying a cargo of seventy-seven million bio-gallons of strawberry bubble bath. This is not your ordinary, chemically induced strawberry bubble bath of the earth-like variety. A special formula of pure, organic strawberry essense and super concentrated soapy agents, it is the cream of the crop of Ceremus23A’s intergalatically acclaimed soap industry. One drop is said to be powerful enough to scent, and clean, ten tubs of muddy children, but the formula is mild enough to use for the newest of babes. However, the most frequent use of this pungently wondrous formula is to scent the bathtubs of intergalatic rockstars.

The jury is out as to which stars like which formula best…strawberry or green apple. Thus the war…

These decadent, extremely passionate humanoids pride themselves on their secret formulas which are passed down from generation to generation and guarded with fervent patriotism. Over time, the planet has exploded with malcontents who cannot decide which formula is better than the other. Of course, the Strawberry Bubble Faction and the Green Apple Faction believe that their soap is best. The Anti-Bubble rebel forces are composed of those Ceremus23Aer‘s who detest both strawberry and green apple essence. Instead, they prefer good old lye soap and water.

Painfully astringent in their view of life, these dedicated individuals do not embrace decadence of any kind (or rockstars either). After their unprecedented defeat of the Chocolate Eaters at Lake Wannabathy on Galaxy-date 3379, the rebel force has been feared and considered enemies of all pleasurably scented plants.

Oblivious to the danger of mediating between the three factions, Captain CoCo is fully relaxed {except for finding this illusive planet], thinking that this is an easy assignment. After all, how hard can it be to convince a world that loves bubble baths to chill?

“Captain,” the ship’s counselor croons mildly, looking about the room for the culprit… “I detect tension on the bridge. I suggest we do something about it at once. A song perhaps? I advised you that allowing the crew to wear their jammies today would halt the unease. But no one listens. Sigh… Smiles, everyone!”

Captain CoCo tilts his head 25 degrees to the right. “Perhaps a short rendition of Buffoons. In the key of G, Navigator Allegra, if you please.”

“Captain, I suggest it would sound better in the key of A.”

“Very well.” Sighs. “Lead us in song, Navigator. One, two, three…hit it!”

(Entire ship’s crew begins to frolic and sing lustily)

After fifteen minutes of a cacophonic nightmare of sound, the captain’s voice is heard above the din screaming. “My head! The horror! Someone is flat!”

A disembodied voice arises from the noise. “It is you, Captain!”

“Who dares suggest that Captain CoCo is flat?” Captain CoCo whines, reaching for a chicken wing to alleviate the stress. “Where is the buffalo sauce? It was here just a minute ago.”

The bridge goes suddenly quiet. All eyes are fixed upon the chicken wing.

“Captain,” declares the First Mate, “it appears to me that there would be less tension if we all ate breakfast. Wouldn’t you agree, Counselor? I’ll volunteer to cook.”

Staring his First Mate down, Captain CoCo sneers as the First Mate crosses his legs and flips his long bangs nonchalantly. Grinning fiercely, he challenges the captain with sparkling eyes. “Should it be kimchi and rice or cereal? Your choice.”

The counselor shakes her head. “Cereal would be faster. Captain?”

Captain CoCo chews reflectively. “Get me more buffalo wings and you, Mr. Blade, won’t be court marshalled.”

“Thank you, Captain,” First Mate Blade responds, uncrossing his long legs. “I will go to prepare first. Five minutes. Pebbly Poohs or Honey Bears?”

“Both. I think…” Captain CoCo says as he sucks on his chicken bone. “Two dozen wings for me, Mr. Blade. Post haste! Yesterday!”

Mr. Blade turns his handsome profile toward the captain in an attitude that conveys his displeasure at having to obey this despot of a leader. He rolls his eyes and pouts petulantly as he exits the bridge with a parting jab.
Yours will take an hour, sir. Counselor, join me?”

“It is better than staying here. My head aches from all this testosteronic posturing. At least in the kitchen, there will only be one of you.”

…Meanwhile, moving as fast as methane gas can propel a warp engine, the Strawberry Bubble Faction’s ship is approaching the IPF Grande Pollo at alarming speed…

To be continued…Muahahahaha…

Note: No resemblance to any living persons intended. Uh-huh. Yeah, right. You know it is. Sorry.

Credit: The JYJ Fantalk Team

Picture Credits:

Please remove with credits intact. Better still, maybe we shouldn’t take credit. Would you?  Muahahahaha!!!

DBSK Spazz: Just a Little Vacation: Part 1


You see a globe. A shiny, sparkly globe covered in flashing lights that makes you think of bell bottoms and peace sig…wait a minute. Wrong globe. (removes quickly)



Ahem. (tries again…)



You see a globe. A slowing rotating globe that really reminds you of something you saw in geography class. It is called…What was it again? It’ must have been important….OH YEAH!!!! PLANET EARTH!!!!




Duh. Well. It is Earth, spinning exotically on it’s invisible axis, looking so peaceful from this far away. Really peaceful. What a shame that you’re suddenly getting closer…and closer…and even closer, until you can make out the outlines of high rises and fast moving cars. It seems you have descended into a very big city, and are quickly aiming for a curtained window, at the very top floor of an expensive-looking housing complex. You flinch and try to slow your velocity, expecting to crash straight into the window any second, but there are no air brakes on this ride. You close your eyes, and wait for the shattering of glass….but surprisingly enough, all you feel is a sudden blast of air-conditioned air, that seems to come from all around you. Someone has central air controls. Nice. The grandly furnished house seems empty at a first glance, but your quickly adjusting ears pick up the distinct sound of voices, male voices to be exact, voices that you recognize immediately….






 …so I told the manager that I was going to be gone for a few days, and he seemed okay with it. The only thing that’s really worrying me is….Yah. Hyung. Do you really need to pack so many clothes? It’s a vacation, not a photoshoot.










 Hmmm… you really think so? I might need them all…






                           Junsu thinks you have too many. Right, Junsu?

                        RIGHT!!! Hyung, can I put these down now? Please?



Hmmm…I just don’t know. Jiji-ah, what do you think?

Hyung, please.

What did you say, Jiji-ah? Junsu spilled orange juice all over Appa Jae’s new white sofa? Really? Maybe we should let him hold the clothes a little longer….

 Grrrrr…..(drops pile) Forget it. No more punishments.

Awww, Junsu-ah. You’re no fun.



Tell that to my back. Besides, there’s no stain on your precious sofa.

That’s because you painted over it with white-out.

…How’d you know that?





Doodlydoodlydoo…so many lines, so little time….


Tehe. Anyways, the only thing I’m worried about is someone spotting us with Yunho-hyung and Changmin-ah. I mean, it could really cause a scandal, if one of the fans took a picture or something.





That’s why they’re coming in disguise. Or at least that’s what Yunho said over the phone yesterday. I hope we’ll recognize them. It’s been such a long time…was this a good idea?

Of course, hyung.

Yeah. Of course.

Okay. Well we’d better go pick them up from the airport. (closes suitcase) Are we all ready?










I don’t know. Chunnie-ah, are you ready to have fun? Even more importantly, do you even want to have fun?

No. No, I hate fun.




Just kidding. Relax, Jae.

Yeah. Come on. Let’s go.





Sizty minutes later, at the airport……




Hope they won’t take too long. It’s a long drive to our resort.






I know right? Their plane’s already landed, I hope we didn’t miss them… Oh! Wait! Is that really…Oh my goodness….





(insert hysterical chicken laughter here)





I don’t know these people. Really.


What kind of disguises are those?










Wanna buy a Christmas tree?! It’s on sale!








                                                   Yunho. It’s May.



Which is exactly why it’s on sale! 40% off! You can’t beat that!!!

They can’t beat that, but they sure look ready to beat us, hyung. Do you think we should have chosen more thorough disguises?

We didn’t have time, Changmin-ah. Just smile and look pretty. Smile and look pretty.



Someone’s going to recognize you.





Nonsense! We’re hiding in plain sight! The fans will never see us!












to be continued….


all images from google. you know who you are.

credit: thatmelancholysoul at





120126 A Birthday Surprise Fanfic For Kim Jaejoong by Momma Cha

Birthday Graphic #398

All situations in this story are fictional. The only thing real is the main characters.  🙂

Birthdays are meant to be special and fun. After all, how many times do you get to celebrate the only day out of the whole year that you can pretend is exclusively yours? Yes, pretend. There are hundeds of thousands of people who share your birthday with you. You are unique but there are only 365 & 1/4 days in a year. Except leap year of course.

 As our tale unfolds try to imagine that this day is exclusively Kim Jaejoong’s in which to celebrate his birthday–to laugh, to have fun, and to share it with others……Sigh….. (sudden grinding halt….)

Enter Scene One

La-ti-da-ti-da…Jaejoong awakes to the smell of freshly brewed expresso and JiJi lounging luxuriously on his new bedspread. “JiJi!! Get off the bed!!!  Huh? Is someone here? I smell expresso”. Then he remembers, “OH Yeah!! Today is my Birthday!!”
He has put the timer on the Expresso Machine just to awaken him on this special morning, and to begin his birthday with zest!! Sadly, Junsu has flown to Japan the night before, calling late to express his regrets for not being in Seoul on Jaejoong’s birthday, and… to tell Jaejoong of the wonderful present he will give him upon his return. “Regrettably’, said Junsu, “That will be next week”.

Jaejoong is not dsturbed. Yoochun is in town, not to mention family and friends, so today is looking up.and his anticipation grows of an exciting birthday among loved ones.  Jaejoong has received several calls from family members wanting him to drop by to pick up his presents.

Suddenly, his cellphone rings. “Jae hyeong, this is Micky. I’ve just been called out of town by the new casting director for “January Blessing”, you know–that new drama I was telling you about?  I’m so excited. I’ll be away for your birthday. but don’t worry, Ricky said that he would come over and spend some time with you”. “I gotta run, See ya”.  Oh, BTW, I have a cool gift for you. I’ll give it to you soon’.


Jaejoong puts down his cellphone with a puzzled look. “Why didn’t they tell me that they were leaving earlier than this? That’s odd. Oh, well, I’m going to get my day started with a fresh cup of expresso and a decent breakfast.”

Jaejoong follows his nose to the kitchen where the expresso awaits, hot and hearty. He cooks some ramen, pores a huge cup, and sits down to read the morning paper, but it isn’t distracting enough to keep him from thinking about Junsu and Micky leaving town so abruptly on his birthday. If he allowed himself to dwell on it much longer it was going to ruin his mood.  Draining his cup, Jaejoong cleans up, then picks up his cell phone to call his family. “I’m supposed to be there at 11:00. I wonder what I should bring”?  The telephone rings and rings. No answer. Then a message kicks in. “Due to an important family event the Kim’s will not be in town from today until February 3rd’. If you have something important to tell us, please leave a message after the beep. We will get back to you as soon as possible.”

Jaejoong stares at his cell phone. This is unbelievable. Most of the people he has depended upon to help him celebrate his birthday have gone out of town. ‘If I didn’t think it was crazy, he thought–I would assume that they are running away from me. Oh Well, Yunho and Changmin promised to stop by on their way to that red carpet gala event.


What is the name of it? ‘Promises for The Future Road Show’?  “I can’t remember–I’m starting to get a headache”… I think that I’ll just grab a pillow, lie on the couch and take a nap until someone calls. JiJi, keep a look-out, will ya?– And take that Santa suit off!!!

(Scene Fades)

(Enter Scene Two)

Jaejoong has fallen sound asleep.

 “I’ll protect You” starts to play. it is Jaejoong’s cellphone. “Snort”. Jaejoong startles awake and flips the phone.  ‘Hello, this is Jaejoong”. “Hi Jae Hyeong, this is Ricky”. “Oh yeah, great–you’re coming over right?” ‘You’re spending time with me on my birthday, right”?  Complete silence. “Aw. it’s your birthday?  Sorry, hyeong, I was calling to tell you that I’ll be going out of town and I heard that they needed you to call the office. You didn’t answer your phone earlier. Bye”.



Jaejoong’s jaw drops three inches. “What is going on?  What event is  more important than my birthday? So Ricky has decided to go out of town too”?




” I’m not calling. I’ll just get dressed and go on down. Naw, that won’t work. They’ve probably gone out of town. If I wasn’t a grown man I would cry”.

Just then the phone rings. “Jaejoong, did Ricky tell you we had an assignment for you? You need to hurry”. There’s a photoshoot today at Seoul Forestry. Did you forget?  Your manager set it up. You need to meet the crew at the reserve”.

Jaejoong is so stunned he can’t answer for a moment. “A-a- photoshoot? At The Forestry Reserve? O.K. I’ll be there soon”.  After closing the phone. ” I am so mad. I ate that great big breakfast and now they want me to do a photoshoot on my birthday? They told me I had the day off!

(Scene Fades)

(Enter Scene Three)

‘Where is this Forestry Reserve? I’ve been driving around for two hours!! Oh, wait a minute–that looks like an entrance. Yes!

Jaejoong drives up into a clearing. There is no one in sight. It is winter. The birds aren’t singing, there is snow on the trees… ‘What kind of photoshoot is this going to be? There’s so much snow I can hardly drive. I wonder if the crew is held up? I’ll call the office”.

Two calls later and there is no answer. Jaejoong is starting to panic. It is also starting to snow. Suddenly–“I’ll Protect You”. Jaejoong answers the phone with “Why am I here? Where is the crew?

‘What crew, Jaejoong? This is your manager. I stopped by for your birthday but you aren’t home. Where are you?

Where am I?  Don’t you know? The office said that I had a photoshoot at the Forestry Reserve and that you had set it up. I’m sitting here with the car running and no crew in sight”.

‘I know nothing about this. There must be some mistake”.  Come on home and I’ll be waiting for you”. The manager rings off. 

Unbelievable. Jaejoong turns the car around–grateful to be heading back home. “The office never makes mistakes like this. I wonder what really happened. Following a back road to avoid detection, Jaejoong pulls into his Private garage 90 minutes later. “Br-r-r-rrrrrrrr, it is cold. I may as well be in Alaska”.

 The journey to the Penthouse seems endless, especially since Jaejoong has made it a habit of climbing the stairs for exercise. When he arrives at the entrance winded and tired, he stops for a moment and leans against the wall. “What a birthday”, he says to himself. “I could have stayed in bed’

Turning the key he enters the luxurious apartment expecting to see the manager. JiJi meets him in the foyer with a bag of kitty treats in his jaws. “Thank, You, JiJi, but I can’t eat those. Oh! You want me to open them for you? O.K.  Someone should get a present”!!

A crashing noise from the master bedroom sends Jaejoong sprinting down the hall. As he skids around the corner he sees the manager calmly picking up pieces of his prize Taiwanese urn from the floor.  Jaejoong is too tired to care. All he wants to do is to go back to sleep.

“Hey, I’m sorry man. I accidentally hit it with your suitcase”.  As Jaejoong stares at him he points toward two large suitcases filled with Jaejoong’s clothes and toiletries.

“I took the liberty of packing for you. We don’t want to be late”.

Jaejoong just stares at him blankly. What more surprises could the day bring? “Late for what ? Where are we going”?, he asks.

“On a little trip; just you and me going to a friend’s lodge. The staff decided to pull together and give you a week away for your birthday. You’ve been pushing it rather hard these last few weeks. You deserve a rest”.

‘You’re right”, Jaejoong stifles a big yawn. “I deserve a week’s rest right here in my own home away from forests and trees.  I’m going to bed”.

“No, No, you can’t do that”.!  The manager is frantic. “We really need to go right now. Look, I have a picture of the lodge right here. Remember the fun you had there with Yoochun”?

The manager grabs the suitcases and starts heading for the door. “We have to catch the plane in a hour. I promise there will be plenty to do, even in winter. I already called your housekeeper. She’ll take care of JiJi and the house.

Jaejoong sways on his feet. “O.K. O.K. I’ll go, but only if I’m allowed to sleep for two days”.

“Fine with me.. You can sleep in the car”…………………………..ZZZZZZZZZZZ.

(Scene Fades)

(Enter Scene Four)

Jaejoong is so exhausted that he can’t remember the trip to the airport or the flight. When he awakens they are traveling down a snow-covered road that looks slightly familiar. He has  been here before.  Stretching and yawning he watches the scenery go past and reflects on the fact that his birthday will soon be gone with no celebration; no presents; no family; and–well, he does have the manager. That knowledge does nothing to lighten his mood. At least he will have a whole week in which to choose his own pursuits.

As they round a corner the lodge appears ahead. It is dark and looks cold and totally uninviting. “I’ll sleep well, though, he thinks. Yeah!

Suddenly, as the van comes to a stop, there comes a loud shriek followed by a sudden blazing of lights at the windows. Jaejoong sits stunned as the door flings open and Micky and Junsu, grinning from ear to ear, drag him from the car and half-carry him to the door, legs flailing. Yunho and Changmin rush out to form a chair with their hands to carry the birthday boy inside. All of a sudden people are popping out from every corner of the lodge. There is his umma and appa; and his sisters and their families. Friends, relatives, and staff all grin from ear to ear as they clamor for his attention. Story after story of keeping this a secret for weeks rolls off of their lips while Jaejoong slowly comes alive with the excitement of it all. Just think–a whole week with all of these people…. (sudden grinding halt)   🙂

End of Play

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAEJOONGIE.   Momma Cha @jyjfantalk

Picture Credits: as tagged +