DRAMA REVIEWS & RECAPS
Emiieee_sshi’s blog on Korean, Japanese, Chinese and Taiwanese drama series Love???…pfffttt
Lately I’m feeling a little ummmmzzz…lost? hahaha maybe that’s not the best word to describe what I’m feeling right now after the mid year exams. I should be feeling ecstastically fantastic right? Well, it just means that I’m spending most of my day sleeping and lazing around the house. I’ve been trying to avoid going out at all costs since the weather depresses me. During the day, I have my curtains drawn together so that I wouldn’t need to see the windy, grey and rainy day. Mum has become increasingly worried about my state these few days.
It’s funny how asian parents have this thing about no dating in highschool. But what I find overwhelmingly amusing is that once I graduated from highschool…they suddenly become surprised about my lack of dating experience, as if an alien stepped into the house. Hellooo? Who were the ones who kept on hammering the significance of highschool chastity? It felt as if I was expected to switch between two modes instantly within the transfer period between highschool and Uni. I would probably have been even better if I came home from Uni after the first day and announced that I was going to get married.
Yes…I understand that I don’t take enough care of my skin. I drink coffee with “too much sugar”. I wear my PJs almost everywhere I go with the exception of outdoors. I also talk non-stop with unlady like gestures. I feel terribly unladylike. It has somewhat occured to my folks that I scare off guys or guys scare off me. Regardless, my brain is becoming numb to their rant. Paranoia has got hold of my mum…she’s considering all the different possibilities and reasons as to why I’m not interested in men. One point that I need to make straight is that I’m not a lesbian and my mind is not poisoned by idealistic K pop males. I admit that I drool over DBSK but that doesn’t mean that I’ve been manipulated into thinking I would only date someone who looks like a K pop star.
Well… maybe if she introduced me to either Jaejoong, Yunho, Junsu, Changmin or Yoochun….. *mind distracted* (That is if, there is the possibility of that occuring. According to my approximation the possibility of that happening would be roughly around 0.0000000000000000000000 infinite 1.) No wait. I wouldn’t just accept…I would make sure that my arms were to be tightly wrapped around the guy’s leg and then I would shout “till death do we part”. Jks. Of course I wouldn’t cling onto a man’s legs but if it happened to be either one of the DBSK guys, I don’t think I’d have a choice because I will be faced the the death penalty…the wrath of fan girls.
From a woman’s perspective (yup I’m still biologically considered female) I can say that many Cassies have probably fantasised about DBSK boys. *cough* Anyways coming back to my point…sorry where was I? Oh right, yes, fantasising is a very normal thing that human beings experience regardless of gender. But we all know that the world we create and the world we live in are two very different ones and they rarely cross. Therefore, it is important for us to be able to “accept” the fact that maybe one day, DBSK will be date other girls, get married and have kids.
I’m not saying that it is ignorant, naive and foolish for fan girls to keep that loving hope alive and I’m sure most girls know deep down that one day we will have to let go no matter how disappointed we are. The problem is, when that day arrives, it really comes down to how much pain fan girls will feel. Of course, the amount of disappoint and misery will differ between different people. One person may feel little or no difference while someone else’s life can be turned upside down. Some fan girls may even gather together to plot the death of that girl (God forbid that from happening.)
Personally, I don’t think any celebrities or female artists would risk dating one of the boys because that would mean endless bashing, decline of popularity and life threatening consequences. I still find it hard to believe that Jaejoong’s ex-girlfriend who he dated before he became popular dumped him because he wasn’t popular O_o I bet she’s regretting it now….
Many Cassies address the boys as “My…” or “Our….” because this creates a sense of intimacy. But I think that regardless of what the fans/Jaejoong want, it would probably be more difficult for fans to accept DBSK dating a fan rather than an artist or a celebrity. When a DBSK member starts to get into a serious relationship with a girl, that member’s popularity will most likely drop.
In SM, I highly doubt that Yunho or Changmin will be allowed to date seriously because it will affect the company’s profit, business and image. The company sees, hears, breathe, feels, tastes money and will not consider HoMin’s happiness as their top piority. HoMin are only able to give their hearts and love to music. It’s an unfair idea that they wouldn’t be able to love like a normal person or experience love like any other person, yet there is only a choice between music and love. Those two choices cannot co-exist. As long as they remain under SM or if they continue to work with music, there is a high possibility that they will remain single. Even after they retire, I have this feeling that fan girls will remain in the chase.
JYJ have more freedom to date and I often wonder why they don’t. This is probably due to the same reason: the need to remain in the hearts of fan girls. If they start to date, it would break thousands of hearts across the world and I’m positive that is not something JYJ would want to see. Imagine one of the boys fell in love with a girl but because Cassies, he had to force himself to break off the possibility of getting together with someone they loved..it’s heartbreaking.
If we only love them because they are single then is that really considered as love or support? Being turned-off by the fact that they might be with another girl is called possessiveness. Sometimes love can lead to the need to be possessive but essentially, this possessiveness or upset feeling will only backfire. If you really love them, then shouldn’t you wish that they have a content, satisfied and happy private life? It’s easier said than done.
I start to realise that if they don’t have a happy life at home, it can impact on their career. I love their music and I hope that they continue to make great and awesome music in the future. They are DBSK because of their music and a true fan is someone who loves and supports their music as well.
The thing with fanbase is that fan girls like to imagine and fantasise. No one says that this is wrong.So when we start to imagine a girl next to one of the DBSK member, there is pretty much nothing left to fantasise about. It’s logical that these boys chose to sacrifice love for passion and fame but that doesn’t mean that it is expected of them to remain in a loveless life for their remaining time on earth. I often feel sorry for Changmin because out of the 5, he joined the entertainment industry at the youngest age. He probably missed out on majority of his childhood. I really wish he could relive a part of his childhood or growing up. He never really had a chance to go on a normal date with a normal girl on a normal day because most of his life is not a very normal life. (I’m guessing that none of the other 4 guys had much opportunity either)
Although their schedules might be hectic and they can’t afford any spare time to think about relationships but this is all a question to do with principles. Their right to experience a sentimental life should be a question that fans need to examine and think about because it seems like SM probably does not really care to think about it. Sometimes imagination can cloud our critical thinking, mistaking the boys as semi-Gods rather than humans. That is what the entertainment industry portray celebrities as. But even when we are brought back to reality and we know that we must see them as human male beings, we sometimes choose to turn our heads away because the truth might be too hurtful.
I fully understand that loving someone who loves someone else is not an easy task at all. It will definitely feel much better to stop loving that person.
I loved once. The first time I loved, I learnt to give but not take. It was also a sense of admiration that I felt for someone who I considered better than me. (There goes my low self-esteem again ) Back then, I thought that by waiting, he would finally be touched by my sincerity but I quickly realised that I was mistaken. He chose someone else.
When I found out that he had a gf, my world seemed to become a darkness that I’d never known. It felt like I was betrayed in a sense. I couldn’t understand how someone could be so heartless and stupid. I mean, after all, why would you reject someone who’s loved you for almost half of their life? I felt extreme bitterness. But maybe he never knew that I sincerely loved him. He probably never knew how long I waited for him. But as time passed, all wounds will heal. The only mark left is a little sigh of regret or maybe even a little chuckle at how stub-born I had been back then.
It was a difficult decision I had to make when I was confronted with the question about how I should face him in the future. Should I just abandon love and replace it with hatred? Or should I stop being friends all together and avoid him as much as I could? I decided to continue loving but I changed my love for him. This time, I didn’t want him to myself. Rather than perceiving him as someone I had to obtain and receive the same amount of love in return, I started to learn to see him as someone I wanted to take care of.
This kind of feeling is similar to the feeling a parent would have for a child because parental love does not require the child to return their love. As long as you see him laugh and smile, even if it’s not for you, you will start to notice how happy you feel. You no longer feel that you are hopeless because making that person happy has become a stress-free task. When you expect nothing in return, you won’t be disappointed. This becomes unconditional love. It’s to love them spiritually instead of physically. This feeling will elevate you from the deepest end of pain caused by unrequited love.
Only when we give joyfully, without hesitation or thought of gain, can we truly know what love means.
If you only have two choices: 1) To loose him or to never see him again 2) To remain by his side quietly but having to see him with someone else… which one would you choose? Maybe your first instinct is to choose the first one because by leaving him, you can forget him and move on. But can you promise that you will never regret this decision? Do you think you can bear to leave someone you care about just because they didn’t choose you? Love is not based on a scale. We don’t measure how much someone loves us in order to return the same amount of love.
When you love someone and they don’t love you back it can feel like you are falling into darkness because there is no hope. There is nothing to grab onto to escape from this darkness because the heart does not follow the logic which clearly sends out the message: “let go”. We are so desparetly trying to grab onto something to survive so the idea of letting go is obviously insane. Even when we do want to let go, our sub-conscious or fear stops us from doing so because the basic human survival instinct is to grab on to something when we are falling. I sometimes wish that the heart would work together with the mind. Things will become so much easier if the heart stops going the opposite way.
I believe that all Cassies want the best for DBSK. I also think that Cassies are one of the bravest people because love takes courage. To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage; because we don’t want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt. I hope that one day, the DBSK boys will be able to look back and smile at the power of love and the warmth they received from Cassies. DBSK might have gfs or wives in the future but ultimately, Cassiopeia’s love will still out rule them bwahahahaha!
7/8/2011 12:58 AM528
Momma’s Source: emiieee-chan.xanga.com
